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Welcome to Ask Win conversations about being awesome with a disability and raising awareness at the same time and absolutely Yes sometimes you have to say F…..CK you to your own mindset and especially your disability!
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Coming Out After Loss While Living With Cerebral Palsy
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Elisa Neven-Pugh Saturday, June 6, 2026
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On A Different Shaped Heart today (Saturday, June 6, 2026), Best-Selling Author, Win C welcomes Elisa Neven-Pugh. Elisa is a young woman with cerebral palsy who has a strong belief in personal accountability and in every aspect of life and to be real with one's emotions. Elisa have written a book called For Heaven’s Sake, Get on the Boat! A quadriplegic’s guide to walking by faith. It is Elisa’s hope that this book and her motivational speaking services will help people get on the boat of their lives to truly live to their full potential. To learn more about Elisa visit Positivelyadaptive.com
Congressional School - Explorers WantedAn co-ed independent school in Falls Church, Virginia
Welcome Back And Meet Eliza
SPEAKER_03Welcome to Ask When everyone. Formerly a different shape todd. For those of you who are curious about why I trained the name, we'll get into that in a later podcast. But for right now I'm gonna let Eliza take it away. I have Eliza with me. And we're back obviously from my little break. And right now I have Eliza with me, so I'm glad going to let Eliza take it away.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for having me, Lynn.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for accepting the invite.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_00So I you want me to ask you um questions, and I notice you have few questions that you um you don't want me to ask, and I can really understand. Um I'm a more visual speaker as well. Um so So what are the two questions you would like to be asked? Like if if you could like is there every question that you're like I wish somebody would ask me this.
SPEAKER_03Please,
Coming Out After A Homophobic Parent
SPEAKER_03Eliza, you put me on the spot now. Jeez, honey, you put me on the spot. Well one question I want people to ask me is how I became G A gay because a lot of people, well, it's public knowledge that I am gay and June being pride exceptions months. We we the gay community and I'm speaking in general, need more allies. We don't need people around us that are homophobic. For those of you that don't know, um I had my dad was homophobic. And so I they call it coming out of the closet, but I came out of the closet two weeks after he died because I was so afraid that if I told him, and he even asked me, when are you gay? But I was so afraid if I told him he would not care for me in the way that he should because right after my mama died, it was just him and I. And so um he I was so afraid that he was going to disown me, and that's the god honest truth, because I didn't know what to think. I telling a homophobic someone that's afraid of gays that he has a gay daughter, I was so upside down about that one, and that's the honest truth, because I was so upside down because telling someone that you're gay and they wanna shun the gays, laugh at the gays. So this being June being gay find months, um we need a heck of a lot more allies than we do. I have many, many, many, many, many allies in my life. Some are more overpredictive of me being a disabled woman than but pretty much people know I'm gay, people know I'm single too,
Pride Month And The Need For Allies
SPEAKER_03and so we need not only as a disabled woman, but the gays need a heck of a lot more of acceptance than we actually get. Because um I think this is my own personal opinion, I think um that humans need all humans need love and acceptance, but at the same time, I don't tell people in the hospitals that I'm gay because I don't write down on the piece of paper that they give me to before surgery that I'm gay because I need the care that I need due to my disability. And so I am so afraid of coming out of the closet with that one, but I'm also getting over that one because I am going to be getting over that one. I've decided um for my last surgery ever, you guys. I funny, I dislocated my toe. I dislocated my toe. You guys can laugh at me all you want because who dislocates the toe? Me, long story why, I dislocated my toe, but I potentially I potentially need surgery on my foot to fix my toe. And that said, I may come out of the closet on that one because it's my last surgery ever. And if people give me grief about it, they give me grief about it because I am proud of who I am and if they're um homophobic, I would happily teach them to be an ally, I would happily teach them about my disability.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00And
Support Without Pressure Or Performance
SPEAKER_00what so I guess my second question is how can because I'm heterosexual. How can any any Christian actually so how can people how can um heterosexual people um cisgender people, sorry for anyone interested in this? Um how can cisgener people really support the community without just make you think going, oh what I used to rainbow flag emoji, you know, in your opinion. Well I can't always my struggle.
SPEAKER_03How can people support the gaze without being intrusive? Is that what you're asking?
SPEAKER_00Without I g without being intrusive and without being superficial, I guess is one asking.
SPEAKER_03Oh, without being fake.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, point I got, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I mean, you want you want to know how you can support the gays without being superficial and without being fake. Well it's the same um it's the same of supporting the disabled community. Just say hi and if they wanna open up to you, they wanna open up to you. But if they don't don't pressure them to open up, because if you pressure people to open up, they will run away and hide. That's the lesson we want people to run away and hide.
SPEAKER_02Give me one second. Sorry. I'm sorry, because the clinic is interesting.
SPEAKER_00That's the reason I say that. And then before giving a skill I've can say that because people I am so sorry.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but the last thing we want is people to run away and hide.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So uh Can I ask you another question though, as it's on this? Excuse me. I had a lot of um uh classes on like dismaliation sexualities and the content was just to like chew in your face a little bit. So how would you suggest, you know, um researching uh the community in a way that's not too overwhelming for somebody who's who's been not exposed or is very much worried of how pervalent it seems to be sustained perfect. Um like how how is it best handled so it feels like it's not pressuring on either side because I you agree with you about the pressure. I just got so much pressure from the other side I was kind of overwhelming. So what would you say about that?
SPEAKER_03I would say um if people wanna talk about it, people will talk about it on their own. But also give also this is a real life thing in the k community of the disabled, give people space, they'll come around. Give um open up the door to trust people and you will see a different side of people once you give them space and say simply say I'm here for you if you need to talk, I'm here as a friend, I'm not pressuring you, and that goes for the disabled community as well. So simply say I'm here as a friend if you need to talk. Talk if you don't want to talk, you don't want to talk, but can I at least give you a hug and say I'm here or can I at least hold your hand and say I'm here and let the disabled or the gay person come around and talk to talk to you, and I mean that generally Yes,
When Identity Feels Like A Trend
SPEAKER_03I agree.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so what is your opinion about I'm trying to be I don't know who to ask this. Um I'll just ask it. Do you think there's a risk that having a new gender identity is more of a fan club these days?
SPEAKER_03Do I think there's a risk of gender identity?
SPEAKER_00Being too much of a fan club, like we see all these people being like, whoa, and sometimes it kind of feels like it's a it's become like a popular thing. Would you agree with that or would you say no?
SPEAKER_03I think it's a popular thing to be gay. No, it's a naturalized feeling. If you feel it, you feel it if you um if you don't, you don't. And I by the way, you guys, I became gay when I was six, but then I squished it until 2019. I truly became gay in 2006 after doing my first Daxer day when I met with angels slash whoever you call God. I call God God. But I met I had meeting I had a meeting with God and angels on the operating table because I was in dire need of that meeting. But they said, okay, we'll save you, but you're going to come back gay. And of course, I could not tell my mom because she was so worried about me and say about palsy. So I never told my mom, let alone telling my homophobic father geese how dare I want to see so these sea waves I happy playing mode.
SPEAKER_00And all uh and so if I try that my LGBTQ, not here, first AI first. I'm sorry, but oh I am so sorry when I'm sorry, excuse me. Um just know that you are welcome to quit go nigga. Go by and I am so sorry. I just wanna ask, um, if there's any way I can do this video next year in a way that doesn't seem like I'm doing it just because it's quite cool. Um so please let me know how I can do this without virtue signaling and that would be greatly appreciated.
SPEAKER_03Well, how you can how you could do it for them is just support.
(Cont.) When Identity Feels Like A Trend
SPEAKER_00Thank you. I'm sorry that that was a video I gave this morning that came on by accident, but thank you.
SPEAKER_03Oh jeez, I didn't even hear it. I I Oh thank God. I didn't even I didn't even hear it. Jeez Yeah, I did a video that came on by accident. I didn't even hear it. So
Disability, Faith, And Being Taken Seriously
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, I didn't even hear it. I was just talking over it. So I have a question for you, Missy. What what is your disability and how can I support you?
SPEAKER_00Sweet Sweet Paul the Cause you please it.
SPEAKER_03So we so you sound like you have C B, but I was uh I didn't want to guess. So how could I support you and your work?
SPEAKER_01Um, thank you for that question.
SPEAKER_00Um I I have a new book. It's called For Heaven's For Heaven's sake, uh get on the boat, a quadruplex guide to walking by faith. It um it's about spiritual and personal accountability in one's life. Um and I do like to support others uh find find their true power like it sounds you have and um do my more visual speaking and life coaching services, which can be found at positreadaptive.com. So if you could share that link, that would be a good idea.
SPEAKER_03I will be able to share that link as soon as Daniel gives me a bio. I um I would be greatly appreciative to share that link because the work you're doing is amazing. And so what has been your biggest challenge in life?
SPEAKER_00My biggest challenge I mean by like my biggest challenge has been um to be taken seriously without taking life too seriously. If that makes any sense whatsoever.
SPEAKER_03I get yeah. I get yeah, because people look well people look at me like I'm strange all the time. When I pop my big mouse open, I have a big mouth. So people who know me personally, people who know me publicly know that I have a big mouse. And so people have to take us seriously, but at the same time. We don't take ourselves too seriously, yes. Yes, in my personal opinion, yes, I'm a Volvasque. But that's why I use a wheelchair, but other than that, I'm model.
SPEAKER_01Um sorry I I know I ignoring th this question.
SPEAKER_00Um, but could you just repeat that once?
SPEAKER_03I said we joke around all the time, but yes, I'm not on a saw disk. I use a wheelchair, but other than that, I'm mobile. I can walk. I just can't walk very well right now because I injured my toe. But um we have I've noticed something in the disabled community, and you can uh agree with um me or not, but I've noticed people in the disabled community, particularly with sample poles, they have the most positive outlook ever.
SPEAKER_00You know what? I I have found that I think I think it's become like an agitation where we're just like, well, we're at the b we're at the bottom of the corn pole, even within the disability community, so we might as well try to lift everybody up with a smile.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, I've noticed that the disability has a the disability community has the most positive attitude in general, and I'm like, geez. So that means then where do you get your positive attitude?
SPEAKER_00I I get it from my family. I was very fortunate. I had a very supportive family um growing up, and also I guess from my faith I'm a Christian film affirming church by the way, so don't worry. Um but I I come from an affirming church, we love everybody, and so that is really my faith and the idea of friends who haven't mean enough to die and then resurrecting to overcome the ultimate challenge. It just really helps me. Um, to believe that that's real. Um other people may disagree, but I I find it like true um I say if I'm complete honest, because I'm very empathetic and sometimes this world can be a bit so crushing, but knowing that I have my faith in spiritual practices it just really helps me keep going.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean this world could be so crushing to anyone, but uh especially the disabled, because dogs is look at adults, especially with sample palsy, like we're crazy.
SPEAKER_00Go ahead. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03Because they don't know it's a peeds and this is a god honestly guys, it's a pediatric disability. They don't know how to deal with adults with zero holiday.
SPEAKER_00No, they do not. That's true. I guess they lucky in my transition period, the doctor who's really good working in message, um is really nice, but that's not always the case. And
Adult Cerebral Palsy And Medical Fallout
SPEAKER_00um and so yeah, I completely agree with you, like it's all like forcing the child to walk. I was born in the category where I've never walked more than a few paces. And you know what, on my really good days, I'm okay with that, because then you know what, there's we anyone gives me made, right? But sometimes I get so many people who are just like, you must want to walk, you must want to walk, and I'm like, actually no, I don't. Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_03Well, you don't care whether you walk or not. See, I'm the opposite. I care whether I walk because I need my mobility even though I'm a mobile um I'm an ambitiously pallet chair user who spends most of the time in the pallet chair because of my spine. If I didn't have a bad back, I would not be spending my time in pallet chair. If I didn't have a bad back, and if they did not screw off my back as badly as they did in 2006, due to unforeseen circumstances as they were put in the box and the screws, which didn't even take. Um I come to find that out 16 years later when I say I have a pain in my back, I have pain in my back, I have pain in my back, and the doctor, I was just moved to Phoenix Amazon in the US, and the doctor just looks at me like you have scoliosis. Now go away, we can't help. You already had a spinal fusion and I said I have pain in my lower back. Well turns out I needed I needed help. Turns out they literally refused the whole back because the fusion didn't take. But if my back wasn't so screwed up the way they left me on the operating table, and if they didn't leave me penalized for 20 minutes, I would be walking. I would be walking independently, I would be um walking independently, I would be um functioning independently, but I'm not and because of sample quality, um I had to get a hip replacement at age 38. My body contracted on the salt, and I had to get a hip replacement, so my right hip is man-made I don't have my ball of my hip, I have a hip replacement, which is functioning but functioning well, thank you very much. But I'm like really at 38 I um I wasn't expecting to get a hip replacement.
SPEAKER_00Right and so could you could you argue that what we just discussed is the difference between like how somebody feels with a lifelong disability versus
Advocacy, Belonging, And Speaking Up
SPEAKER_00an acquired disability and this is why we need to communicate more, would you say?
SPEAKER_03I would say that. I would say that sabopalsy sabalsy is a lifelong disability, you guys. It's a lifelong disability. At least and I didn't um we acquired it at birth, or we acquired it as young kids, but at the same time it's a lifelong disability and it comes with challenges each and every day, and I'm teaching all about me, um, about cyber palsy. I mean, one of my aides who's here with me today learned well, she did it on her own, she now steps into my muscle spasms as a god to protect me from my own body. And I love that the first time I had a musclespasm and she stepped away and then decided, oh no, I'm going to step in when she's when Wynn was having a musclespasm. But the same all the lifelong disability and we deal we try, at least myself, I try and deal with the disability in grace with grace and style.
SPEAKER_01Amen to that, sister.
SPEAKER_03Amen to that. Because I try and deal with it the best I can. If I'm in a power chair, I try and be polite, I try not to run people over. But sometimes you gotta teach people um what a disability is really like. I had a acquaintance of mine, I introduced myself the other day to a qu acquaintance of mine, and she goes, Thank you for telling me your name. And I'm like, I wanted to have a mean uh couple months chat with you, but that's okay. I can have a couple minutes chat with you later. So, um, and that's what I'm going to do. I'm not shying away from this person. I'm going to teach her about the disabled and I'm going to teach her about CP.
SPEAKER_00And um I have a question because I was in a couple advocacy groups and I was the like the people of street proposed, there was only two of us. And I was the only one who had um verbal capabilities, but this other young woman was very smart too. But we often felt sidelined. Would you how do you feel sleep policy is either accepting or not in the disability community?
SPEAKER_03Well, again, you have to put yourself out there. People are not going to come and find you. You're going to have to put yourself out there. It's not you build it, they will come. You have to put yourself out there.
SPEAKER_02Alexa I'm not quite sure how to talk about that. So you win. You are your reminder. Divine mercy. Technology is not my thing to get that. You were your reminder. Divine Mercy. Keep going. So sorry.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, that's okay. But I would say um it's not uh you build it, they will come situated. You have to put yourself out there online. And if they accept you, they accept you. If they don't, they don't. And I will truly say this. If you don't like my work, you can unsubscribe right now. Right now, just unsubscribe and forget it. But most people like my work. They want to stick around for my work, but um at the same time, some people are haters against disabilities, haters against the gay. Gays. We don't know the story behind the person who walks in the door. We don't know the story behind the person. They might be having a bad day. They might be having a fabulous day. We don't know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00I guess what I would try and explain, but sometimes I I find with other advocates at least um the problems are better because things can get so crappy with disabilities because a lot of people with disabilities are extremely gay. And extremely like we're not gonna let able-bodied people into our advocacy groups, and I'm just sitting here being like first of all, I get fed by those people so trying to be replicated.
SPEAKER_03Like Yeah, you get annoyed. You get ignored when people pounce onto you, and it's like, hello. You get annoyed when people bounce and you and I I've been called out on Zoom. I've been called out. People will say win. You need to be quiet because you need to let other people ask questions, but I'm the type that breaks the ice. So therefore, um therefore I've alone I left in the hard way to be quiet.
Where To Find Eliza Online
SPEAKER_03And not automatically assume things. And definitely not automatically assume things. So as we wrap this interview up, where can people find you and where can people get a hold of you online?
SPEAKER_00Well, the positively adaptive.com um is where you can find my website and your book, and I should be able to schedule people soon. But just email me if you don't see the schedule, and I'd be happy to work with you as a life coach. Um, to help you stabilize, I'm a certified crisis worker, uh or more visual speaker, and I'd love to speak with you and uh help you find your best life and help you get on the post.
SPEAKER_03So give us your website one more time so people get a clear understanding of it.
SPEAKER_00Positively positively positively adaptive.com.
SPEAKER_03Positivelyadaptive.com and we'll put that in the show notes, you guys. And Elise, thank you for being on Ask Win, and I hope that people follow your journey. I'm certainly following your journey, and are you on social media?
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much, Wynne. For being a wonderful conversation.
SPEAKER_03Are you on social media?
SPEAKER_00Yes, I am on Instagram at E-O-I-S-A-N-P 2025, where you can type in Positive Readaptive Services, and I'm also on YouTube.
SPEAKER_03Okay. So people can find you on there. And I appreciate your time and I hope you guys enjoyed another fabulous episode of Ask Win, formerly a different shaped heart. Thanks, you guys. Bye you guys. Bye.
