Ask Win
Welcome to Ask Win conversations about being awesome with a disability and raising awareness at the same time and absolutely Yes sometimes you have to say F…..CK you to your own mindset and especially your disability!
Ask Win
When The Soccer Ball Goes Sideways
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Abuse, disability, and trauma have a way of twisting the story we tell about ourselves until one clear answer snaps everything into focus. Wynn sits down with Amelia, CEO and founder of Evolve Ventures Technologies, for a raw conversation about surviving harm, living as a disabled adult, and reclaiming neurodiversity as a real strength instead of a label that limits you.
Amelia shares her experience of chronic traumatic memory loss and the long road to understanding how trauma can reshape the brain, including how memory and threat systems get rewired. Wynn connects that to her own journey with cerebral palsy, from early moments of realizing her body moved differently, to the adult reality of needing help with daily tasks, and the shock of experiencing emotional and physical abuse. We also talk about what happens when you are both a mandatory reporter and the person who needs protection, why Adult Protective Services can feel terrifying, and how much courage it takes to speak when your nervous system wants to freeze.
One of the biggest takeaways is about anger. We don’t treat it as something to fear or suppress, but as a signal that your values matter and that something needs to change. We also dig into inner child healing, anxiety that gets dismissed, and why trauma-informed support can make all the difference, especially during vulnerable moments like medical care. We wrap with practical ways to connect, including Amelia’s free consultation and community resources, plus a push for accessibility through video podcasting and captions.
If this conversation hits home, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more survivors and disabled listeners can find it.
An co-ed independent school in Falls Church, Virginia
Neurodiversity As A Superpower
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Ask Win Everyone. This afternoon I have Miss Amelia with me and I'm going Miss Amelia taken away.
SPEAKER_00Hey there Wynne. Thanks for having me here. Hi everyone. I'm really grateful to be here and connecting with you, Wynn. So I am someone who has learned ultimately that whatever we're struggling with, uh we might not realize it after who knows, maybe a couple years, maybe a hard time. That struggle, that diversity that we have, that neurodiversity is absolutely our greatest superpower. So I experienced a chronic traumatic memory loss from four to twenty-five years old when. And wow as a result of that, yeah, as a result of that, I I I ended up learning way later in my life that um it it rewired my brain so that I have uh a neurodivergence or rather neurospicy. And so I'm trying to continue to see that as a strength, um, but it shaped truly everything that I had uh understood, learned ever since then. So um now today I'm that CD CEO and founder of Evolve Ventures Technologies, and what I do today is now help people all over the world work through their trauma, see their neurodivergence not as a limitation, but as a strength. And I work with so many diverse individuals to be able to kind of overcome the struggle that, for lack of better words, is in our head, but that wasn't caused by us.
SPEAKER_01That's a terrific sum of what you do. Geez, I should let a podcast warm you up more often. On the fact to you guys, this Amelia's second podcast for 4th of July 2020 26 says we record this.
SPEAKER_00Yes, so yeah, I had just gotten up of podcast transitioning to this one, and that podcast that I was talking about was all about core beliefs, and so definitely my tongue is warmed up. We'll see if it doesn't get too tongue-tied. I love it.
SPEAKER_01So, Amelia, you decide to embrace your nullodiversity.
Embracing Disability After Abuse
SPEAKER_01I don't know if you know this, but I have decided to embrace my nilodiversity because I was emotionally and physical physically abused by two family members, and it's public knowledge. One of them, the main abuser, has awakened because of what she did. And so I when that happened, I figured out what my disability was and is, and how my disability affects me on a daily basis, why I need help bathing, the main reason why I need help dressing myself, because I thought this is the win. Most people my age know how to dress themselves, but do I still need help? And why did this soccer ball go sideways when I tried to kick it across the soccer field when I was six years old? Once I figured out what my disability was and what my disability is and how it truly affected me, truly affects me, it all made sense. Yeah. So in 2019, I decided to embrace my disability and make it my gift slash my superpower.
SPEAKER_00And that to me, when when I hear that, I just am so lit up and so grateful that you went on a journey to discover what happened to you and why things were for you the way that they were, and to be able to make that a superpower, it takes tremendous fortitude, it takes tremendous strength, and embracing that is no small feat of tremendous courage because when you go through something traumatic and then you realize it's changed your life the way your brain maybe works, maybe your body works, it is a whole journey that sometimes you can feel really alone on. And now here you are sharing your story, talking with people about things that matter. And that is really important. And I'm just celebrating that because that takes a lot of courage and a lot of strength and a lot of bravery. And I'm with you. And in terms of when you can understand yourself and how your disability, or I like to reframe it as differently abled, how that impacts you. It can really open up a world of new perspective, yeah. And help you really just believe in yourself a little bit deeper.
SPEAKER_01And it opened up the world of don't take help for granted. Yeah. I've gotten help in copious amounts of ways.
Mandatory Reporting And Adult Protection
SPEAKER_01I mean, I um I told because I this is a fun fact that my listeners don't know, I'm considered in and I still I'm considered in the category of a vulnerable adult. People with disabilities are vulnerable adults. So me being a man time reporter because of my teaching background, I debated in my heart whether I should call adult protective services on my own, on my hand, but then I didn't want to have it blow up in my face. So I decided, you know what, I'm holding this until I meet with another mentally porter who happened to be my counselor at the time. Counselors, um, counselors, police teachers, and social workers, depending on the case, are mentally players. So and people that teach um disabled classes are mandatory porners. I've been told in disabled classes and let this class is kept private unless we feel that we need to tell someone about your behavior. So embracing my getting back to embracing my disability, I decided to stand up for myself when no one else stood up for me. I mean, I'm lucky that I had three witnesses um witness my emotional and physical abuse, but at the end of the day, I as a victim had to stand up for myself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. And that, I mean, being a mandatory reporter and then having abuse inflicted upon you when when in a vulnerable position, it and then navigating that and having to ask for help and that whole journey, it can be really devastating in so many different ways. And I can only imagine what you have gone through to navigate that in your own way. I mean, I love hearing survivor stories because it gives so much perspective and hope for me. Um, and and I love to share some of those stories and um point out those stories to other people who are struggling in the phases of maybe between the abuse and them reporting, whether it be a family member or friend or someone that they thought really loved and cared about them, but yet inflicted harm upon them. And I can only imagine what that journey was like. And I know for me, it's definitely been a journey that's been scary to navigate as well, because for for my different ability, if you will, I didn't necessarily have witnesses. And I also because of that chronic traumatic experience, I didn't have as much memory to it as well. So I often went through periods and spouts of questioning myself if things really happened or if my brain was making up stories. And I know anyone that's going under their survivor journey and or struggling with the aftermath of abuse, that's one of the biggest challenges is how do I navigate the way forward? And trying to find that strength and making sure that you get help and in the way in which you need the most, that it takes tremendous courage to do.
(Cont.) Mandatory Reporting And Adult Protection
SPEAKER_01I know, and I was after the case got settled. I remember a friend called me, and this friend was in town, and she goes, When I want to see you. No, this was as my case was settled, and not after the case was settled. Um, this friend calls me and says, I want to see you. Can we meet at a coffee shop? And I knew I was going to Boston Sears and all I saw her physically, and because I was going through a vulnerable moment. And this person knows me extremely well, too. And she happens to be a mentally reporter also. So that was fun. I have mentally reporters in my life. I as I said, I'm a mentally reporter from my teaching background, so that was fun. And so I said to her, Well, let's schedule something. But within 24 hours, I canceled with her because I said, Look, I have something going on. I can't tell you what it is. Just keep me in your plans, and she said, I will all find out after it's um done. And I called her after the case was settled, and I said, Look, they did X, Y, and Z to me. My family did X, Y, and Z. And she goes, What? They did what do you? And I'm like, Yeah, they did. So that's why I could see you because I knew I was going to bust into fields and your arms and tell you that I had a case going on, and yeah.
SPEAKER_00Wow, what a powerful relationship that is, and it's you know, it the sentiment that you shared really shares uh very many uh experiences that I've heard about when you when you do go through the process of mandatory reporting and being on the other end of that as someone who has experienced harm. How scary that can be and how deeply we need someone to offer that safe space and that compassion to be able to come and actually have the words tumble out of our mouth of what has happened because more often than not, our our brain will do these interesting tricks to try to make sure that those words don't get out of us, right? Yeah, no. Um having a safe space and a friend that can help you find your ground and your strength to be able to do that is so extraordinary. And I'm thrilled that you had that friend and that person.
Getting Answers That Finally Fit
SPEAKER_01I no, then after the case was settled, I did more research myself because I knew it as CP, I didn't know it as cell palsy, I knew bits and pieces of my disability. So I asked a PT who I trust um had my alternative PT program at the time in Aspen Colano where I lived. And I said at the end of the session, I said, Debbie, I have a question for you. I heard sample palsy is a neurological condition, eyes are a bone and joint condition. I heard both. She goes, honey, and she had a PT student standing right next to her. She goes, Done, you have a neurological condition. I just about walked away and cried. Yeah. I'm like, it all makes sense.
SPEAKER_00It all makes sense.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, hello, it all makes sense why I need help getting dressed, why I need help bathing, why I need help. Yeah, it all makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I had a moment like that too when I learned about how in in going through the academics that I've gone through and really understanding and honestly trying to get for answers of why can I not remember anything? Why other people seem to have memories and childhood memories playing with their siblings or going through school? Why does it feel like have you seen the the movie Finding Dory or Finding Nemo? Yes. Yes, okay. I felt like Dory, the the bluefish that couldn't remember. And on the outside, looking in for a lot of my life, I was that happy, bubbly person. And in everyone's world, you know, if you're happy and bubbly and and on the outside, you know, quote unquote look normal, but yet you have some memory challenges, it doesn't really hit anyone's radar that maybe they should look at what's going on between your ears and what's happening in your brain, right? Yeah, exactly. I didn't have any physical manifestations of my neurodivergence or what had happened to me and how that changed my brain. And so when I did that research and had asked very very similar to you when different colleagues of, hey, what is going on here? And then all of a sudden the thumb was was pointed to, well, that traumatic experience rewired your hippocampus. It rewired the way in which your amygdala works, it rewires the way in which all of your neurological patterns worked in comparison to your peers. Everything lined up. It was almost like a relief of, oh my goodness, no wonder why I struggle to recall the family memories that all I'll hear from my siblings or from people that I grew up with that I don't seem to have the files pulling up for. And the pieces just fell into place. And I I wonder if you experienced something like I did, which was that relief, and right next to how devastating at the same time, because for so long it was nothing really made sense as to why I was this way. And um I can only imagine for you, there was a great deal of time where there were struggles, but there was no answers, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. I agree because at six years old, I joined the city Aspen Colonel City soccer team for kids. My dad signed me up and to get me active, and then of course all my classmates from a private school aluminant soccer team because they wanted to join too. So I went and kicked the ball, a soccer ball, like a normal person would. Well, the soccer ball almost the soccer ball went sideways, I almost fall over, and so then I sit down on the bench angrily, trying to figure out what in the world just happened, and I watch my best friends do it too, and then the soccer ball goes straight, they don't fall over, they walk back to the bench happy, and I'm like, something is wrong with my computer in my book. Something is wrong with my computer. That's how I figured out that I had CP and Silver Holse, and that's um by the time I was in seventh grade, my mom looked at me in the car, dropping me off, and she goes, I'd love to see you, mom, but bad way to tell your child that your child has a disability. She looks at me and says, When you have a disability called CP. Now go have a nice day. Wow. She literally dropped me off in school and before she falling into the parking lot. She told me. And then later I did research. I googled what is CP and found that babies have a disability condition, and I'm like, I'm going in. And then when I got emotionally and physically abused, I had to do my own research. I'm like, yeah, something really wrong with this picture. When I get emotionally abused at 32 or 30 or 31, and my age, my typical peers are supposed to be getting dressed and driving and showering by themselves, and I could barely walk by myself, and I'm on a walk as something that's really long with this picture. I need to figure out what is wrong. So that's why I did my own research.
Letting Anger Fuel Self-Advocacy
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that research led to higher awareness, which has led to sounds like a whole life purpose in a way. And there was something that you mentioned earlier in that one that I I I want to maybe tease out because the the emotion anger I found to be a really powerful emotion that with disabilities and differently able or neurotypical, neurodivergent individuals who don't fit that quote unquote box of normal, right, in comparison to our peers. Yeah. There's a lot of that emotion that comes up that is anger. That is, why did I why did I not know about this? Why did no one tell me about this? Why do I have to go find the answers for myself? And that anger I find is very, it's it's very life, but yet so many people fear that. When you had that anger come up, you let it fuel you. It's like I had. And I wonder what might be helpful for this conversation to really uh unpack that a little bit because I find in speaking with other people that have different struggles, they're almost afraid of their anger. But I find that the anger is actually the signal to try to help us really honor our values and figure out what is not necessarily wrong, but rather just different. What like could you tell me a little bit more about how you navigated that and how I don't know your relationship with anger and how you didn't let that hinder you in discovering what was important for you?
SPEAKER_01My relationship with anger. Um I told my counselors, I said no, Leon, because she asked the question. Maybe it's because the way I was acting, or maybe it's because she know I was a vulnerable adult, and maybe it's because she knew I had a disability. And so um she said, Do you feel safe at home? And I said, Yes, but here's what's going on. And the next thing I know, she called her friends at Adult Protective Services, which happened to be right next door to her office, and the next thing I know. It blows up to the fact that my aide, my aide at the time, goes in first and does the first testimony to my win to my emotional abuse. And I'm like, okay. I walk out of counseling one day. I start looking for my aid. I know where our car is. I know how to get to a car. I am like, maybe she's on the phone. Maybe she's in the bathroom. The next thing I know, I I see a stranger. That stranger says to me, You're drivers with adult protective services. My brain goes crack. My brain goes, uh-oh, here we go. And I'm like, uh-oh, what I toned. I knew in my heart uh it was emotional and physical abuse because as I walked across to get an a card to go out, and then I'm like, I just got emotionally and physically abused. And I'm a mandatory reporter, what do I do now? What do I do now? What do I do in my guilty consciousness? I'm a mandatory reporter. My aunt didn't realize not only did she emotional abuse uh um woman with a physical disability, she emotionally and physically abuse uh with her point in crime. Um mentally we pointed out how dumb is that. I I couldn't that couldn't be a dumber move in my book than anything else. And she knew I'd have kids. And I'm like, why? Why? So my point to that is it could be anyone down the street. People think it's the AIDS, people say it's the AIDS all the time that abuse the disabled. No, no, my aide at the time stood a witness to my emotional abuse, did the first witness statement, and so it could be anyone, it could be the preacher, it could be your teacher, it could be the nanny, it could be the aide, it could be Sally Sue down the street who wants to give you candy. Yes, kids, don't take candy from the stranger, that's a good one. It could be anyone, it could be a family member. In my case, I was a dum-dum that followed my aunt downstairs to get dressed to go out to dinner, and the next thing I know the door to my bedroom is always was and is still here, always open so they during the day so that the aides can go in and out and ask me questions if they want, and then I have an open door policy. And next thing I know, I thought, okay, my aunts are helping me get dressed. The next thing I know, they close the door on me and start asking questions. How's your home life? And they knew my dad just died too. And I'm like, my dad just died, you're asking me how's my home life. And then it went on and on and on. And I backed up to Amelia and and I told the um I told the investigators, I told the um the professional um interviewer this, and I backed up towards Amir, and when the cops came to do my step mom's witness statement, they said, When keeps talking down the mirror, where is this mirror? And they took a picture of the mirror because I thought at this point my aunt was so livid and so angry that I thought at this point I'm going to be knocked in the face because I thought, oh boy, the abuser won't. And I've learned that it's fairly unlikely that women abuse other women, but appealing because that was the case. And I have learned that um the abusers won't let the abusee go. And so once they start abusing, they won't let the abuser go to save their lives. I mean, if you ever heard of stories of people climbing out windows just for safety, and if you ever heard people making phone calls just for safety in secret, um that's because the abuser won't let the abused go. Once they start abusing, they will keep it up until you say stop or until they're done.
SPEAKER_00That's
When Family Causes Harm
SPEAKER_00true. It's true, and it it is uh devastating how how little the conversation is had, I would say, growing up and in in school systems about how abusers are when you look at the statistics, it's way more likely to be someone that you know and someone in your family than it is someone that you don't know. And that's really scary. And yeah, we we have these these cognitive biases that oh well that will happen to someone else that that that's not gonna happen to me because our family loves us or whatever the narrative is. And yet when we're in that moment of the abuse, we're literally in shock so much that um that we don't put the pieces together that are lining up, that are pointing in obvious directions and signs that are blazing red flags that are really the puzzle pieces that are evident that abuse is about to happen. And because of that cognitive bias or that distortion, you had mentioned my you said something like um I didn't see my dumb I dum dumb didn't see the door, like those little pieces, right? That's that's where having compassion for that that part of us that didn't realize that it's the it's the people that we love the most sometimes that hurt us the most. And of course, when when you're being who you are as a good person navigating life, the last thing on your mind is expecting that people that you love and care about, you know, aunts, uncles, whomever they are, especially family members, are gonna be the people who abuse you. And yet when we again look at the statistics, it is alarming how much there is cries for safety and how when it's a moment we want to try to defend ourselves or protect against that abuse because there weren't conversations around what to do in that situation. No, we're just in shock and no one.
SPEAKER_01No one gives anyone, I don't care if they are no typical, no one gives anyone a playbook or flashcards what to do in abusive situation. Right. It's either fight or flight. It's either your body fights the abuser or runs away. In my case, I couldn't have run away, so I tried to fight the abuser by answering the questions that she asked me in my face with the door closed, with her sister, who was adding fuel to the fire. My other aunt was adding fuel to the fire, and I'm like looking back on them, other aunt could have said stop. And apparently, when the cops and adult protective services called them, my main abuser didn't want anything to do with it. She thought she was helping me. Oh my. The abuser, the pun and crime said, Really, okay, let's fix it. But the main abuser thought uh I was helping with, and that's what the report said, and um my sister, my stepsister at the time ran me a full on 10 sheets of yellow lined paper, legal paper, of the adult protective services notes of that phone call, and they said at the end I wouldn't speak to Marianne Crad with a 10-foot paw. I still don't speak to her. I kind of speak to her sister a little bit because I uh well, I don't necessarily need to, but she always says, Are you happy? Which I am. I'm happy in Arizona, but she's trying to get a hold of me, and it's like, really, really, I don't need to get a hold of you. I've not asking you for anything, and it's like, so we have that relationship, but I'm about to give it up because I'm like, I don't need this stress in my life, and you're the one that didn't say stop, you're the one that kept it going. Right, yeah, and so but my getting back to the point where you said anger filled me, it filled my heart. I got fire in my heart to figure out what the heck was wrong with me, why I needed help, and once I got told that same palsy was a neurological condition, um that made sense. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I have um I have a client who who has CP and one of the conversations that we had w during our interest was talking about just his family life and growing up, and he immediately when he shared that, I inquired a little bit deeper, obviously. And he had shared with me how much anger um has come up because of his disability and how it's hindered him, and he has how it presents is very much in the gate. He he can walk, he can dress himself, but his gait is slightly off. And I really resonated with the anger when we started talking about it, how it had hindered him for so long. And now he's in this phase in his life where he's learning about how CP has impacted him and how he comprehends things, and uh celebrating really the growth because he's used his anger to uh keep going with and just like you have used your anger to keep going and like I've used my anger to keep going, it it it serves as a really powerful fuel when we can learn how to navigate those emotions that come up with that question with what's wrong with us. And it it just really does inspire me to hear more stories that can use those emotions that are really confusing when they come up, either during an abuse, in the aftermath of abuse, in the pursuit of understanding what's different or unique about us, and then trying to figure out how to use that as fuel to persevere when it's hard, when it's uncomfortable, and to kind of get on the other side, having it be a part of your purpose in a way.
Living With CP In Plain Sight
SPEAKER_01Yeah. No, and he's right when it comes to the gate, if you watch, if anyone watches me walk, they would recognize CP in two seconds flat and I could walk. Right now I have a damaged, I have a damaged toe and a damaged something else, which I'll mention in another episode. But right now I'm dealing with a damaged toe, which slows my gait upside down because the big toe balances you out. And so right now my gait is flowing upside down, and I have what we believe is all the knee. So that's fun because I because my toe's angry now, my right knee is angry, and that's like really, really, so I want to once I fix the toe, and yes, I'm getting my toe fixed in September, hopefully, and then um once I get the toe fixed, I'm gonna say whether the knee settles down. But right now my gait is so wonky, and that's one of the things about sample palsy that I now embrace as a gift. I walk like a duck. So I waddle like a duck, but I embrace sample palsy as a gift now, now that I know what it is, but as I said, I got very angry on that soccer field at six years old when I um learned that the soccer ball didn't go straight, it went sideways, and I almost fell over. I got very angry and like this is a wrong. This is not in my head. Like, soccer balls usually go straight and people usually don't fall over after kicking a soccer ball. Yeah, yeah. Like, and my a the funniest thing, my abled-bodied classmates knew that I had the disability. They knew it SCP because I always had a person helping me in the classroom, and was it with uh educational aid or aid just as I won't say a nanny figure, but in beautiful she was, and so the classmates knew I was different because I was pulling out for physical therapy, and uh physical therapists would come to my classroom and working with me, and the aide would stay back. But when it came into the soccer field, they didn't say anything, they were proud of me for kicking the soccer ball, and they didn't say anything as far as when you're different, and were laughing at you, ha ha because they um saw the soccer ball go sideways. And the fact of the matter is I never got bullied. I never got bullied, I never got teased, I never got anything. So when it came to emotional and physical abuse as an adult, I was shocked because I'm used to hearing stories, and you can agree with me on this about kids being bullied, about kids being teased, about kids being picked on because of their disability, because I can't speak, because I speak weird, because they wear glasses. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I had a um a client actually, he's he's been with me for a couple years now, and I absolutely adore this man. He grew up with tubes in his ears, and so he had a condition where uh when he was seven years old, because he couldn't hear, he was deaf, and there was something when it comes to the development of his um auditory cortexes, uh essentially he had to have tubes be placed in his ears. And so he got made fun of throughout his uh entire childhood, and it changed the way in which his entire understanding and perception of the world really uh took shape. But when it was so fascinating because it wasn't until quite literally last week where he was sharing, he said, you know, Amelia, uh you said to me a year ago too that you that I might have been bullied in. And when I first said that to him when just sharing some observations, immediately he had a protective mechanism that was like, No, I don't, no, I didn't, no, I wasn't. And so he was in denial that he had gone through an extensive, actually covert and ex an explicit bullying, and um as a result of of that disability that he had for this hearing. And so to what you were saying, where there's certain people that get bullied growing up and then they become adult and then they realize that there's you know, emotional abuse and or psychological abuse or physical abuse that they didn't necessarily either have growing up or they had to tell themselves that they weren't bullied. When they become adults, all of a sudden it's like, what the heck is going on here? I don't know how to handle this. And so he said to me last week, Amelia, I I thought on, you know, a couple of years ago when you brought up that I I think I was bullied and when I got defensive, and after reflecting, you know, I I think I think you're right. I think I've gone through a lot of different bullying, but I just didn't want to admit to myself that I did because that would mean that I was powerless back then and I didn't have any aids or support to really cope with how devastating that was to my younger version of myself. And I thought it would have been fascinating how we all have different experiences, different walks of life, and some of those disabilities don't show up in a physical manifestation, some of them do, and how it just shapes our perspective on how we perceive the world. And um for those who who are willing to kind of reflect on their life experiences and really name that, you know, it can be really transformative and and you know, you can kind of go back to those younger versions of yourselves and and give them the hug that they never had, you know. So I thought that was fascinating.
Inner Child Care And Anxiety Reality
SPEAKER_01And this is a great turning point. Um, after you guys listen to this episode or during this episode, I want you to start hugging that interchild and rubbing that interchild heart and that head because our inter our interchildren need us more now than ever because this world is getting wonkier and wonkier. And I won't go politically on you, but I'm just saying this world is getting wonkier and wonkier than when we grew up. And sometimes as adults, we forget about the entire own, and I'll say what uh friend said to me. A friend said to me, you are your greatest mother, you are your greatest father for the boys, you are the greatest mother, you yourself are your own mother. So as you listen to this episode, think about helping that in the child recover from the child trauma wizard was bullied because you had glasses, or whether it was bullying because and believe it or not, they actually do this bullying because you didn't have the perfect number two pencil of bullying just because you didn't have the perfect bulby bulby doll lunchbox of bullying just because you had secondhand closing. I mean the list goes on and on. But now as an adult, you need to start taking care of your inner child whether seeking counseling or talking to Amelia or just talking to me privately or Talking to your loved ones saying, Let's help my interchild recover from what happened as a child. Because as a child, you you're helpless and defectless, but as an adult, um, you have that wisdom to help that interchild, and you are the great mother, you are the great father in in the boy's sake for yourself. No one else is your mother, no one else is your father. You may have figures that are your um adopted parents, but no one else can control your feelings, no one else can control your emotions. And as a as a child, adults, and I hate to say this, but Amelia is going to agree with me on this one. Adults really don't believe kids when they say I have depression and anxiety. In my case, my father said, No, you don't, no, you don't, no, you don't. And he um we and I admit this, we my bank account, he was my co-signer, and so he looked at my credit card and he saw a counselor on my credit card, and he said he came in my room and said, No more counseling for you. And I didn't blame that stuff, and I'm like, dude, your wife just died, my mother just died. Help me out here, and then they had a major, major, major anxiety attack after and I had a witness five minutes after I had another anxiety attack. I had a witness. But my major major anxiety attack was on April 24th, 2024, just waking up after a six-hour back surgery where they redid the rods and screws in my back and had to do a spinal fusion revision after 15 years of a spinal fusion not taking and causing me great pain and me not finding out 15 years later and me almost dying and the the original back s surgery. That's a long story in itself. And so I had a major anxiety attack because I s I stupidly, and I admit this, gave my aunt, um, gave my co-abuser the name of the hospital, and she calls the recovery room. I'm still asleep. I and when I wake up, I said, Allie, in the middle of my back hurts, not knowing they did my whole entire back. My god, I thought now that later. And then they go, Good you're awake, you got a call from the Bahamas. This is from a nurse that comes over to me, doesn't say, How are you doing? How are you feeling? Doesn't say anything. Good you're awake, you got a call from the Bahamas. Well my idiotic brain thinks, oh how nice, and then I realize, oh the Bahamas, it's my mom's family, and the only person who I gave the hospital name to was my abuser, and I'm like, she called the recovery room to ask how I'm doing. She wasn't on my hip list to ask how I'm doing, and she called the recovery room. Then I started crying my eyes out, and the nurse comes over to me again and says, Quit crying, you're scaring the other patients. I'm like, and I'm I look down, I'm in a hospital gown with a big, huge back place on, I could which I knew they were gonna put on me after surgery. I could barely move. And I look around and no one no one else is in uh everyone else is in the hospital gown, but no one else is in the back place, and I'm lying there like help. Yeah. I'm like, that's the day I'll never forget. And I had a witness five minutes after, and the next day that witness who you know who you are, but that witness said, Why were you so upset in that recovery room? And I said, Because my aunt called me, and she knows about my emotional and physical abuse of witness does, and she I said to that witness, recovery room is so scary, and she goes, Yeah, that's why I came and found you in that recovery room. I wasn't leaving until I found you because the witness promised me the day before I will be there when you wake up from the surgery. And this was a witness from my church, and no one else from my church showed up to have surgery except this one person. This one person thought that I had a hospital in. So she goes to the hospital front desk, tells them my name, and they go, Oh, she's still in recovery. The witness goes, I will sit here. And and she's dressed in clergy clothes, she's a deacon of my church, I'm episcopal, by the way. And she's dressed in clergy clothes, and she goes, I will sit here until you tell me where Wynne is, and I want to go see her. I'm not leaving her, and he talks to the higher-ups, and I let her into the recovery room only for five minutes, though. But after my anxiety attack, I was told by meanness, you're not allowed any visitors. And I'm thinking, great, I have a visitor on the outside trying to find me because I knew, and I'm thinking, she's not allowed in there. And I she got special permission, but it's interesting how people want to support other people, and that being said, I will support people with childhood traumas.
Choosing A Life Of Support
SPEAKER_01I will support, I made it my ultimate call in life. I'm going to get a counseling degree eventually, I guess. And so I made it my goal in life to support the underdog, to support people that need support. I made it my ultimate goal in life to share hope for those who are hopeless with disabilities, the voice for the voiceless, if you know what I mean. And I made it my goal in life to support those who need help because they just escaped emotional and physical abuse, or escaped domestic violence, or just need a friend to talk to. And you can reach me via email, or my lovely assistant, Daniel Calter, has my cell phone number. You can reach me via that, or you can reach me all over social media. And Amelia, where can people reach you?
SPEAKER_00I love that you've made that your life purpose. And you and I are definitely in parallel pursuits of that because it really does. It it makes the world a better place. So we have our heart totally in that. And people can reach me on social medias. I tend to have the handle Evolve with Amelia to make it easy. And then our website is evolveventurestech.com. And we also have a podcast where I'll talk about all things that I hear coming up from clients, community members, stories, and there's sleep challenges that we have. We have so many opportunities. We have a movie club that that we do with our community, and you can listen in on our podcast at Evolve Ventures Podcast. And that is where I live and and serve. So thank you so much, Wynn. This was wonderful, and you're truly an inspiration. And I'm so grateful that you're doing what you're doing in the world because the world has so many moments of uh despair and hopelessness, and it takes people who are are guardians of hope to be able to bring that to others. So I appreciate so deeply what you're doing in the world and your listeners for tuning in today.
SPEAKER_01You and I will be a fan of your podcast, and even if it's behind the paywall, I will still be a fan, seriously. And I'm presuming your podcast like mine can be found anywhere people listen to podcasts, including smart speakers.
SPEAKER_00Yes, absolutely. Yep, absolutely. And we also we do video as well. So if you're more of a video person and want to hear and watch me talk, that's also um available. But anywhere you listen to podcast, evolve ventures podcast will be available. You'll see me and my co-host Bianca Thomas, who is a licensed mental health clinician as well on there. And we like to talk all things growth, evolution, and breaking our limiting beliefs.
Accessibility And Video Podcast Plans
SPEAKER_01And just to let you know, um you guys, this podcast, Aswin May, may become a video podcast in the next couple of weeks, if I'm brave enough to get a video podcast, because Apple Apple Podcast is now accepting video. So for those of you who are my visual learners, um all the podcast hosts now have plans that do audio and video, and they converted for you into a video, and so you can watch or listen in Apple Podcasts and most podcast apps. I know Apple and Spotify are supporting the video thing, and other podcast apps are coming behind, so be on the lookout for ask when to become video as well.
SPEAKER_00Yay!
SPEAKER_01Because I'm trying to help those with disability, I'm trying, and I do not think that closed captioning works with audio. I know that closed captioning, for those of you who are deaf, um are hard of hearing, not completely deaf. I know that closed captioning works beautifully with video, but I am not sure closed captioning works well with um audio. And I know screen readers are advanced technologies, but I know they read screens, but I don't think they read the verbal cues on podcasts just quite yet. Just saying. So that's what um Ask When might become video in September, might become video in September. I'm working on that. I just have to work on that with my hosting platform who does support video. So that's something that I'm hoping to do to help more disabled people who necessarily don't like audio. Now you can listen to the podcast or watch the podcast, it will go back and fall us in the Apple Podcast.
SPEAKER_00That's wonderful. Yeah, and one of the reasons where we s I started um our podcast just audio, and then when we transitioned when it's really important to me to work with our predicting team to make sure that we had captions for a long time for all the uh individuals who struggle with hearing and or um you know who just prefer that. So the technology is coming up, and I want to encourage you if it feels aligned, definitely because the world needs you and um it's really exciting because whether it be a platform or a team that you work with post-production, that can go a long way for people who um have trouble with the hearing. And I know for me that that was definitely a little um easier to do as well. So I'll look forward to September as I'm sure your listeners will. But thank you so much for having us.
SPEAKER_01I thought about and I thought, well, there's a bunch of people out there that like close captioning, and to tell you a little bit of a secret, I um grew up with a semi-deaf person who didn't want to admit my dad because of his previous work before I was even on the planet, he became semi-deaf, and one day he said to my stepmom and I, you're mumbling, and we go, Well, not mumbling, and then he goes into the hospital, gets diagnosed with stage phone cancer, that was the story of itself, how he got diagnosed with stage phonem cancer, and I will leave that before another podcast, and do a refunction on that. But uh, luckily, one of his his stepdaughter, my stepsister, was in the hospital when his dinner was being served, and they go say your last name to the person that was serving him. He goes, What? And my stepsister goes, When do you know he's a deaf? I said, I know, he just doesn't want to admit it. So that's why I'm doing video podcasting for those who are disabled, but yet those who still want to listen to a podcast, but they can't hear a podcast.
SPEAKER_00And that's great, and that's where the podcasting world is starting to really evolve and it's really exciting. So I'm super grateful to be in that journey with you and grateful for the technology that makes that possible, right? Yeah. Thanks again, and I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01Helping the disabled as well, and I appreciate you and the work you're doing. And again, we'll have Amelia's information in the show notes, you guys. And I pre-warn you. This is a one-hour episode. So if you have time to listen to the whole thing, um listen to the whole thing, and there may be a surprise with this episode. There may be a little bit of a surprise. This episode may come out later than you think, or it may come out in two forms. I probably would do it in two forms because there may be a spice with this episode. We don't know. I don't know yet, but I am I always have my wills turning the back of my head. And I appreciate Amelia's time. No, people, she didn't get tongue-tied, but she probably needs a drink of water now to do two podcast episodes. So I I appreciate your time. I appreciate you doing two podcast episodes back to back. And I want to listen to the other one when it comes out too. So if you send me a link to the first one that you did on July 4th, um please do because I want to listen to it. And now you have a new fan, and I'll listen to your podcast and I'll support your work too, Amelia, because I love that you're doing what you're doing.
Free Consults And Final Requests
SPEAKER_01And can people have a free consultation with you? Uh how do you work?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. So I so there's two different avenues that you can work with me in. It looks like different forms. So free consultation actually, if if you enjoyed the energy in this, and if you enjoyed the heart underneath it, I I always find with working one-on-one with a coach, matching in terms of you know, the values and the heart underneath it is what sets the foundation for a great relationship that helps whatever you're going through. So I'll include the link to my calendar after this episode. Lwyn, I'll send you an email with all of my links and a free consultation. What you're struggling with, because I call that my service Saturdays, where I allocate 30 minutes every single Saturday on my calendar to make sure that if you're struggling with something and you need some support, I'm there for you. And if you want to go into a coaching container, that's where all there's so many different bi-weekly, weekly sessions. We even have a you to you program, which is text-based support. Um, but that's you know, outside of that, when we have uh monthly three events that is different topics about mental health and they're community-based. Every first Monday of the month, we have Evolve Movie Club, which this weekend we're watching the green book together and and talk about it through discussion questions. We have uh Evolved articles where we talk about the neuroscience and and mental health. So there's so many free things, but if you want to connect with me, definitely click the link that will be in the show notes to get a free consultation and see what working with me might look like for you, as every person is a little bit different. But I would love to meet you if this resonated with you, and um would love to offer your listeners a free consultation, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01And please, please, please, if you're interested in mental health, please subscribe to Millios Podcast and please leave it a five-star review because I'm going to leave it a five-star review, because that makes the Apple Monster, aka the algorithms, happy, and that um shoots it up, we hope, to number one, so more eyeballs see the videos, and more earbuds hear the podcast because we want to support all the people who are doing mental health work. And as I said, I appreciate Amelia coming on this podcast and spending her July 1st, half of her July 4th with me, because it is July 1st, as we recalled this 2026. And if you want more information, look in the show notes and we'll have fun. And I hope you guys enjoyed another fabulous episode of Ask Wyn. Thanks, you guys.
SPEAKER_00No better way to exercise our freedom, Wynn. Thank you so much.
